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Archive for Relationships

Accepting a compliment

Do you find it easy to give compliments to others?

Oh, I like your hair! What a pretty dress! That lipstick looks great on you! Yes, they roll off the tongue quite easily.

How do you feel about accepting compliments?

What, this old thing? Oh, I’ve had this for ages. Yes, but I’m having a bad hair day.

Why do we try to downplay the nice things that people say to us? Why do we feel obliged to point out the things others have obviously overlooked – the bags under our eyes, our scuffed shoes, the coat in need of a wash, etc.

NOT accepting a compliment insults both you and the person complimenting you. It can make that person feel worse than if they’d said nothing at all. My friend Judy who works as a cashier at a Home Improvement store said she makes a point of being friendly and complimenting most every person that comes through her till. She says its surprising how many people do not know how to accept a compliment.

What should you do?

1. Say thank you! End of story. You don’t need to provide the place you bought  your purse, how much it cost you on sale, or anything else. Just say thank you.

2. Try a compliment back. Say, “Funny, I was just admiring YOUR shoes!” It could be a great conversation starter.

3. Say something nice like, “Oh, you are so kind/sweet/lovely!” You may not agree with their compliment, but at least you haven’t insulted the person.

4. Smile! It may not be necessary to say anything at all.

Last summer I headed out to do a little shopping. It was a beautiful day, and I decided to take it up a notch and put on a T-shirt dress with a matching cardigan. When I got out of the car, a woman in the parking lot yelled out at me – “YOU LOOK VERY NICE!”. Even though I felt slightly embarrassed, it was a good feeling. I had tried a little harder with my appearance and someone had noticed. I can still remember how the compliment made me fee leven though this  happened months ago. Say something nice to someone today!

 

“Everybody likes a compliment”

~Abraham Lincoln

 

 

I never dress up!

Today’s blog addresses one of the most common things I hear from people … I never dress up!

As my mom would ask – Are you bragging or complaining? Maybe its just a statement, but this was a familiar refrain I heard at Modella’s March Fashion Show in Westdale early this spring. Modella showed lots of nice separates in black & white with chartreuse accents, many with asymmetrical silhouettes.

Its true people dress up less, according to Fran and Toni Iduciano, owners of Second Chance Consignment Shop on Hamilton’s Locke Street South, that I also chatted with recently. The workforce is ageing and along with Casual Fridays, Business Casual Dressing, working from home and today’s more relaxed approach to doing business, people  just don’t dress smartly as much as they used to. The sisters see this reflected in the falling sales of categories such as dress pants and matched suits. As Boomers retire from the workplace their lifestyles change and they are no longer required to dress up daily.

Today’s Boomer appears to not enjoy dressing up for events, preferring instead the comfort of leggings, knits, jeans and sportswear. Dress clothing usually involves zippers, buttons, collars, tucking in, dry cleaning, polishing, laces  and the like. Many people are simply tired of the effort  required to wear these types of clothes.  This is no reason not to dress up! Dressing up conveys respect and effort. Remember, its always better to be overdressed than under dressed. If we raise the bar on dressing up, others can rise to it.

Anyway, back to the Fashion Show. After the show I met Denise, a pretty middle aged woman with caramel highlighted longish brown hair, browsing the sale rack. She had spied a cute peplum jacket – black with brown piping which coordinated nicely with the black jeans and tall boots she wore to the Event. She spun and twirled and was clearly in love with the jacket but not quite committed to the purchase. “Oh come on,” I said, “you know you look great in it.  It would also be nice over a dress.” ” Or with a pencil skirt and a leopard print blouse underneath!”, chimed in another fashion show attender.  ”It looks great with what you have on for a date”, I  continued. Denise laughed and exclaimed “A date? I don’t go out on dates, I’m married!”

Then it was my turn to laugh! “Well,” I said,  ”if you looked that good your husband couldn’t help but take you out for dinner and a movie!” The jacket in question was fitted close to the body, not tight,  in a swishy material with a face framing collar which formed a V. The back was longer and could be worn to cover the rear view with leggings. It buttoned nicely under her bust and “the girls” were  ”locked and loaded”. It could also be layered under a coat and at $365 and 60% off, was a good buy. I’m pretty sure Denise bought the jacket from Modella’s, and her husband is now being required to take her on a date! Have fun dressing up Denise!

Longer back peplum fitted jacket
Great for dates!

Thanks to Stacy and Clinton for the “locked and loaded”  phrase.